Friday, November 12, 2010
Bubbies are nice, my Bubbie is nice, I like Bubbies
My Bubbie is the greatest woman I have ever known. At 4'8" and in a constant state of shrinking my entire life, she truly was the dictionary definition of 'Great things come in small packages'. My Bubbie, Celia Siegel (born Silverman) like many others immigrated to New York City at a young age with her family from Poland. She met my Zadie, Solomon Siegel in Brooklyn and they were married. Late for woman of that time, I always wondered if she felt as though she had settled. I wonder what it was like for her, for all those independent woman far beyond their time. The woman of New York City who were expected like everyone else to marry and bare children and serve. What kind of pressure they must have felt? I wonder what kind of feelings my Bubbie had the days following up to her nuptials with my Zadie. Was she nervous? Was she excited? Did she imagine a life with him for always? Did she love him? Or perhaps she had ideas of how she would fall for him. I never knew my Zadie, some times I wonder what he would have thought of me. Would he have liked me? Would he be proud? I love listening to my Father and his friends and family tell stories of Solomon Siegel (as a child trying not to confuse him for my older Brother, his namesake). Without ever knowing him I feel I know him just a little through who my Father is. As hard as it is for me to believe, a calmer version of his Father. Sometimes I like to imagine what kind of presents he would have had in my life if he were still here. Would he come to Victoria on holiday from Los Angeles often? Would he and my Bubbie have moved here to be closer to us? Would he come to the salon and harass (with love) the unassuming cliental of Stella? I hope so. I like to think that If Solomon was still here on this earth he'd love me, but I don't think he'd get me and we would have this really lovely understanding of not understanding each other but still co-exist in the best of ways. He probably didn't love to hug, but I bet he was secretly the best at it. I know these are all very romantic ideas. He could very well have been none of these things, but that's the beauty of imagination I suppose. I get to have any kind of relationship I want through my imagination with a man I will never know.
I miss my Bubbie everyday. I burn a Kate Spade candle my Aunt gave me the day before her mother passed that says 'I heart mom'. I wear my Bubbie's ring around my neck most days and her apron smocks around my apartment when I clean and putz about. I think Mothers and Bubbies like Celia are rare and far between and I feel ever so fortunate to have been blessed with her for my formative years.
So, here I am blogging, never really thought this day would come and not only that but I begin my blogging career with a dedication to my Bubbie. She would be so pleased, but also have no clue what I was yammering on about with blogs and online this and that. Oh Bubbie, the funniest Siegel in history, the woman with the most amount of love to give, the worlds best cook-and possibly oldest anorexic. I love you Bubbie. I miss you. You are the woman I will spend the rest of my life trying to emulate and make proud. You inspire me everyday with your memory and I will always have that. Rest well. xx